When a loved one passes, often more than one person wants to pay tribute to them. So can you have more than one eulogy at a funeral? The good news is, there are no set rules regarding how many people can speak.
We’ll share details on factors you should consider before deciding on multiple speakers, as well as some tips on what to do to make the eulogies successful.
Key Takeaways
There is no set limit to the number of eulogies at a funeral, so having two or more speakers is possible.
Factors such as time restraints and the family’s culture influence the decision to have more than one eulogy.
Including multiple eulogies can impose challenges, but some simple tips can make it easier.
How Many Eulogies Should a Funeral Have?
Most funeral services have one to two eulogies, but there may be more in some cases. Ultimately, it depends on what the family wants and if there’s a time limit on how long the funeral service can last. If you plan on having multiple eulogy speakers, work them into the schedule as best as possible.
Respect the Family’s Wishes
Funerals are a time to pay respect to the person who is no longer there and support their family during times of grief.
The family should be the ones who decide how they want the service to play out. Some families are open to having multiple eulogies, while others only have one or two people speaking. Others might not have a eulogy at all.
Before deciding to write a eulogy, get permission from the family. Be respectful of their choices, whether they decide to allow for multiple eulogies or not.
Consider Time Restraints
The average length of a funeral service is between 30 minutes to one hour. Fitting in multiple eulogies can be tricky with time restrictions in mind.
If you’re considering having multiple eulogies happen at a service, the first recommendation is to limit each speaker to three to seven minutes max.
JP Reynolds, a wedding and memorial ceremony officiant in Southern California, advises: “Do not try to do too much in the eulogy. No person’s life can be summed up in one eulogy. No one eulogy can capture the fullness, complexity and nuance of the deceased.”
Having more than four speakers may require you to consider requesting a time extension to the service.
Be time-conscious when you decide to include multiple eulogies. You don’t want to drag things out to the point of losing the audience or leading to additional funeral time charges.
Consider the Family’s Cultural and Religious Practices
Culture and religious practices play a big role in determining if multiple eulogies are given at a service.
In some cultures, having multiple family members and friends share their memories together during a service is customary. On the other hand, some belief systems have more formal ceremonies than others. This may result in a predetermined person giving the eulogy.
Outside of religion, some families have their own customs, which leads to individual preferences in how they want the funeral service conducted.
If you’re trying to pitch to a religious family to include more eulogies, you need to communicate with them and other religious figures involved in leading the service.
Consider the Diversity of Opinions
Another thing to be mindful of is the general diversity of opinions others have.
Most people will have their own perspectives and preferences on how the service is run. One method to help pitch the idea of having multiple eulogies is to speak with individual friends and family to get an idea of the general consensus.
If the deceased person knew a lot of people, the diversity of different stories and relationships could be interesting to include. Doing so could help broaden the audience’s view of the person and their relationships to help them better understand the type of life the person had.
Impact of Attendees
A very important aspect you must consider regarding having multiple eulogies is to think about the impact it could have on the funeral attendees.
The impact can either be good or negative, depending on how well the eulogies are written and if they flow well within the service.
Multiple eulogies can be positive since they help the audience learn more about the deceased person. Including more stories helps broaden the audience’s perspective of how that person lived.
The potential downside of having multiple eulogies is they can have the opposite effect of engaging your audience. Too many can cause the service to drag on for too long or may make it feel less structured. It could be overwhelming to keep up with.
Tips for Coordinating Multiple Eulogies
Deciding to have multiple eulogies will require additional work to pull it off successfully. Here are some general tips for you to follow to help you plan.
Communicate Which Order to Go In
Communication is key when having multiple eulogy speakers. Discussing who goes first is a priority, as it can set the tone of the funeral service.
There are multiple ways to decide who should begin. One way is to prioritize time for certain individuals, such as family members, if there is a structured time limit.
Also, factor in the content and the tone of the speech. One speaker may have a more engaging hook than the other, which could benefit from grabbing the audience’s attention from the start. One person’s tone may be more positive, while the other could be more mournful.
Remember, having multiple eulogies should enhance the funeral service. Being strategic in the order of speakers can help greatly in the flow and delivery of the eulogies given.
Consider Themes and a Variety of Perspectives
Having different themes and perspectives from different speakers can offer diversity in content. This leads to more engagement from the audience.
Eulogy themes have different aspects related to the person who passed away. They can be simple, such as covering biographical information, or more specific, such as sharing personal memories.
Encourage each speaker to do a different theme covering different aspects of the person’s life. Remember to consider the speaker's relationship with the deceased, as they may have an interesting insight or story to offer uniqueness in their eulogy.
Set Time Limits
As rigid as they can be, time limits help ensure no speaker goes on for too long.
Generally, most eulogies last between three to seven minutes. There are certain exceptions, but typically, anything longer risks going over time and losing the audience's attention.
Determining the length should be on a case-by-case basis, as well as knowing if there is time to spare.
A good way to be firm with eulogy speakers’ time limits is to list their speeches in the guest program. It will contain a detailed breakdown of the funeral service schedule. Observing their time block in the schedule will make the speakers more inclined to stay within their designated time frame.
Communicate With the Funeral Director
The funeral director can decide the structure and format of implementing the eulogies in the funeral service. When writing a eulogy and collaborating with other speakers, talk with them to ensure everything fits within the vision of the service.
The funeral director can help guide the creative process in each person's eulogy to ensure it’s pieced together well.
Actively communicating with them can greatly improve the odds of ensuring the eulogies are well-fitted and in tune with the structure of the funeral service.
Who Should Give Their Eulogies During the Funeral?
The family and their preferences determine the decision on who should give the eulogies. Family, relatives and close friends typically give them. But overall, the biggest deciding factor is whether certain people feel comfortable giving one.
Ultimately, what makes a person qualified to give a eulogy is their relationship with the person who passed. By nature, it typically defaults to family and close friends, but other exceptions exist.
In some cases, a close co-worker or professional colleague gives the eulogy. If the deceased person did well in their work environment, it may inspire them to want to reflect on those positive experiences.
Religious or other types of community figures also give eulogies. If the deceased person was active in that particular community, members might want to write a eulogy to express their thoughts about them and their importance.
It’s also worth noting some family and close friends may not want to give a eulogy due to experiencing deep grief, which is completely acceptable. Reynolds recommends people ask themselves: “Are you emotionally strong enough to offer words that truly honor the deceased?”
Frequently Asked Questions
What is the difference between a tribute and a eulogy at a funeral?
A eulogy is a speech meant to praise and commemorate the deceased person’s life. A tribute is similar, but it’s more specific. It’s centered around an event or accomplishment people remember the deceased for.
How long should a funeral eulogy last?
Eulogies should be short and concise, ranging from three to seven minutes max. Some eulogies can last longer, but the most effective ones are focused. Avoid being on the verge of rambling, which could otherwise lose audience engagement.
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