Losing a father is a heartbreaking and life-changing experience. If you’re writing the eulogy for the funeral, you might be wondering where to begin.
To craft a eulogy celebrating his life, there are 12 simple steps to follow to help you acknowledge the most important aspects of his time on Earth.
12 Steps for Writing a Eulogy for Dad
1. Find a Quiet Place
Consider going someplace quiet. Try being in nature, like a park or near a lake. You could also try a library. If you wish to be indoors, try finding a space in your place that is relaxing for you and has little to no distractions.
Proper preparation is key before starting the actual eulogy, even though it might be difficult shortly after a death. Putting together an impactful eulogy about your parent requires undivided concentration. Finding a calming spot will help you gather your thoughts.
Related: How to Start a Eulogy
2. Reflect on Memories
Start thinking about memories you’ve had with your dad. Try to think of positive memories that are easily recallable. You should be able to describe in detail where you were, what you were doing, and how it made you feel with your dad.
Start from your earliest memory of your father and progress to the most recent memories you had with him. Be sure to write them down as you recall them.
3. Gather Stories & Anecdotes
Consider collecting other memories from family and friends. Talk to people he was close with and ask about their most fond memories of time they spent together. Write down the ones you wish to include in the eulogy.
Gathering stories is not always limited to just friends and family. Some examples of other people to include could be co-workers, someone he’s helped in the past, or people from a community he was involved with.
4. Consider His Values & Lessons
If you need help writing about your dad’s character, evaluate his values and the lessons he has taught you for inspiration. This is important because they’re what made your dad unique and special.
Recall moments in your life with him that made his character stand out. What are some topics that he expressed his opinion on? What was he a firm believer in? Also, try to remember the lessons and skills he taught you. What do those things say about him as a person?
5. Acknowledge His Relationships
Take note of the people your dad spent the most time with. How would you describe his friends and loved ones? Ask yourself, “What qualities did they see in my dad?”
Understanding your dad’s relationships with other people can help you learn more about how they perceived him. The types of people he surrounded himself with can reveal details about his character that could be worth putting in his eulogy.
6. Write Down His Passions and Hobbies
Taking note of the hobbies and interests he was passionate about adds unique details to make the eulogy more compelling.
Try to recall things that he enjoyed. This can be anything from building LEGO sets to being a big sports fan. Including these details will add uniqueness to his eulogy.
7. Consider Significant Life Events
Life events are important because they are what shape our identity. They range from milestones to things that significantly changed his life.
Remember, it’s important to stay positive. Avoid negative life events unless they’re tied to a positive outcome.
8. Decide How You Want to Organize Your Dad’s Eulogy
Get a general idea of how you want to organize the eulogy. Typically, it’s common for a eulogy to start from events in chronological order (from childbirth to adulthood), but you can be flexible in where and how you want to start it.
If you want to be creative, use a theme. For example, if your dad was hardworking, make the theme about loyalty or determination and include relevant content. If he was a loving, sympathetic person, then make the theme about love and how his life helped you to define it.
If you choose a theme, include stories and examples that match it.
9. Create An Outline
Creating an outline of your paper will help you brainstorm and stay focused. Using the information that you have, arrange the topics in an order that flows and structurally makes sense to the reader. This will also help ensure you stay on topic.
If you’re struggling to develop your own outline, check online. There are many different types of eulogy templates that you can find through Google to get inspiration from.
10. Start With An Engaging Opening
Starting with an engaging opening can help get your audience’s attention. One recommendation is to start with a quote from your dad’s favorite movie or book. Another idea could be to start with a story about a special moment with you and your dad.
When telling a story, be as descriptive as possible. Try to make your audience feel as if they were there at that very moment with your dad. Include details about the environment to help people picture the scene.
11. Incorporate Humor at Appropriate Moments
Humor can be a good way to keep the audience engaged and lift spirits during a time of grief. It also make sense if your dad was known to make people laugh, which can help remind people of him in a positive way.
Be sure not to go too overboard with the humor. The way to use humor in a eulogy is to tie it to a story about your dad. Remember, the eulogy needs to be about him.
12. End With a Meaningful Conclusion
Typically, the conclusion in the eulogy is where the writer says their final goodbye and ends with a tribute. Some common ways people like to end is through a slideshow, a farewell song, or an emotional quote or poem.
If you need help determining how to conclude your eulogy, think about your dad’s values. If he was religious, consider ending with a prayer. If he was passionate about music, pay tribute by playing his favorite songs with a slideshow. Do or say something that you know will make your dad proud.
How to Complete and Deliver Your Dad’s Eulogy
At this stage, your eulogy should be about 90% done. This is where you add the finishing touches to make it perfect.
1. Edit Your Dad’s Eulogy
Proofreading your dad’s eulogy must be done before presenting it on the day of the funeral. Chances are, there will be grammar mistakes once you finish. Failing to take the time to edit those mistakes will likely catch you off guard when you’re reading it.
The best tip for proofreading a eulogy is to read it out loud. Doing so will make it easier to identify grammar mistakes and fix any sentences or phrases that don’t work well. Having someone else proofread it for you can also be an effective method, too.
2. Rehearse It Beforehand
Practicing your eulogy is crucial, especially if public speaking isn't something you're comfortable with. By reading it aloud by yourself first, it will make you feel more confident when delivering the speech at the funeral.
Presentation Trainer, Olivia Mitchell, advises:
“Rehearse your speech several times so as to desensitize yourself to your own words.”
Master most of the content before presenting it in front of others. Then, share it with friends or relatives for feedback and guidance. Continuous practice turns into a second-nature activity over time, making your delivery easier when you present it.
3. Be Emotionally Balanced
Chances are you will be very emotional on the day of the funeral. This will make the delivery of your eulogy challenging.
The important thing to know is not to worry. It’s normal if you tear up and cry. People will sympathize with you. If it happens, let it out and try to collect yourself so you can resume again. A good suggestion is to stop and focus on your breathing if you feel the urge coming.
How Long Should a Eulogy For Your Dad Be?
The average length of a eulogy is between 3 to 6 minutes. Eulogies are generally meant to be short and to capture only the most significant events of a person’s life. They are not meant to tell a person’s whole life’s story.
The main reason you should keep a eulogy short is because you risk losing your audience’s attention. When it goes on for too long, people start to lose interest. You do not want your audience's last experience of your dad to be negative.
With that said, there can also be incredible eulogies lasting 8-10 minutes. What’s most important is that it comes from the heart.
If you have a longer-than-usual eulogy, bring it up with your funeral organizer to confirm if there is enough time in the schedule to fit it in.
Short Eulogy Examples for Dad
Below are a couple of examples of eulogy excerpts made by a son and one made by a daughter written for their dad. They will help give you an idea of what yours could look like.
Son’s Eulogy to Dad
“Today, we gather to celebrate the life of my father, a person who has been the main influential figure in my life for his remarkable achievements and ambition of leadership.
My dad was not just a parent, but a symbol of what hard work and determination can accomplish.
One of the things I admired most about him was his strong sense of determination. He, as an entrepreneur, had to deal with many people shooting down his ideas. Often, he was told he and his ideas were no good. ‘Don’t quit your day job,’ one person said to him.
For every person who doubted him, he became more energized with perseverance. He would spend hours of the night researching and planning what he needed to do to start up his own business.
Eventually, he found someone who saw the potential in his ideas and gave him a chance by loaning him the money he needed to start his business. Once my dad was given the funding to prove himself, he eventually became the CEO of his small start-up tech company.
Through his example, he taught me never to doubt myself and my own abilities. Curiosity is what drives innovation. Innovation is earned through hard work and determination. I used these life lessons to help me achieve my goals and many more to come.
Daughter’s Euogy to Dad
“Thank you all for coming here today, for my dad. Today, I am deeply honored to be able to share my dad’s stories, and that shows why he was arguably one of the nicest guys you or anyone would ever know.
My dad was like no other. He was my father, but also a friend I could be open and honest with during times of uncertainty. As a licensed therapist, he knew how to listen and always had the right things to say to help me out of my downward spiral of negative self-doubt.
Since the day he was born, he always had a big heart and desire to be there for others. He told me about the moment he knew his purpose was to be there for people. It was when he was in first grade, when one of his classmates fell and scraped his knee and was in pain.
While he cried and the other kids watched, my dad came up to him and hugged him and wouldn't let go until the teacher arrived. This kind of loving behavior earned him recognition from teachers and his fellow classmates, but he didn't do it for recognition. He did it simply out of love.
His compassionate heart is what led him throughout his journey in life. He met my mother on a mission trip in Africa, married her, and had me and my younger brother.
Ever since I was little, my dad constantly told me how valuable I am and what good I can do for a world that needs healing.
Even during times when I would make bad decisions, he never would ever hold a grudge. He would welcome me into his arms and say, ‘I forgive you.’
My dad has since been what's anchored me in my religious beliefs. He may be gone now, but he will forever be in my heart until the day I meet him and his loving embrace again.”
Frequently Asked Questions
What is the best opening line for a eulogy?
There are many different ways to open a eulogy. A common way to start is to state your name, how you are related to the person, and how they were important to you. If you want to be more creative, start with a story or quote to set the tone and theme of the eulogy.
If you’re struggling to find a good opening line, here’s a generic opener: "We gather here today to celebrate a life well-lived, that of [Name], who touched us all with his/her love and kindness."
What should you avoid saying in a eulogy?
Eulogies should be positive and about the person who passed. Things you should never bring up are grudges, past arguments, their flaws, or any kind of negative memories towards them. Focus on the positive and make it about a celebration of their life.
What makes a beautiful eulogy?
A powerful eulogy captures the essence of the person who’s passed and is done so with emotion. Active storytelling can help your audience picture exactly how they were as a person and give the sense that their spirit is with them in the room.
How do you deliver a powerful eulogy?
Delivering a powerful eulogy simply requires time, patience and dedication. Devote time to collecting unique details about the deceased while writing with clear intent and emotion. Making edits and active rehearsing are also crucial in delivering a powerful eulogy.
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