It goes without saying that moving an elderly parent to another state is a tough choice.
Leaving behind memories and habits may be difficult for them, but relocating is often the best decision. Moving a parent to another state becomes less daunting when you have a clear strategy and adequate planning.
Read on to find out why it may be necessary to move your parent, get pro tips on how to get your plans in order, and figure out what to expect when your parent moves in with you.
Key Takeaways
Consider relocating your parent if they need extra support, live far away, want to be closer to grandkids, are not socializing, or need to downsize their living space.
The steps for moving an elderly parent from one state to another include holding a family gathering, choosing the best moving method, and planning for healthcare needs.
When a parent moves in, it can change family roles and dynamics. You may need to take on additional responsibilities as a caregiver, which can affect your time and lifestyle.
Top Reasons to Consider Relocating a Parent
1. They Need Extra Support
It might be difficult for a parent to admit they need more assistance with everyday chores like washing, cooking, and cleaning, especially if they are afraid of losing their independence.
When things aren't as straightforward as they used to be, it's time to think about relocating and getting extra assistance with these duties.
A senior living facility geared to help elders and ensure their requirements are addressed while also maintaining their freedom may provide the support your loved one needs. Other choices include relocating your loved one close to or into your home to aid them with their daily responsibilities.
2. They Live a Long Distance Away
It might be difficult to support a parent who lives far away. It is critical to be conveniently accessible if they need extra support.
Moving an aging parent from one state to another can help you bring them closer to you so you’re nearby for support and to be a part of their daily lives if necessary. The proximity also gives peace of mind in the event of an emergency.
3. They Seldom Get to Visit their Grandkids
Moving your parent to another state offers them more opportunities to visit their children and grandkids.
If they relocate, your parent can attend family events such as a basketball game or a piano concert.
4. Your Parent Isn't Socializing
When your loved one isn't going out of the home as often, it might indicate that they aren't socializing or participating in activities. A lack of social interactions may contribute to loneliness or depression in many elderly people.
The possibilities for socializing are one of the most important benefits of any senior living facility. While adjusting to a new environment might take time, seniors frequently thrive once they build relationships and become a part of a community.
Moving your parent to an in-state senior living facility allows them to visit you more often and promotes socialization.
5. It’s Time to Downsize
Maintaining a large house with multiple unused bedrooms is a hassle to heat and cool. That can be a lot of resources spent on nothing for an elderly parent.
Your parent’s house might also be difficult to keep up with.
Mowing the lawn or repairing the fencing are projects that become increasingly difficult to complete as we age.
If these and similar projects are becoming too physically difficult for your parent to complete, it might be time to discuss options that require less maintenance.
Steps to Moving an Elderly Parent
It's time to make a plan after discussing it with your loved one and agreeing that relocation is the best choice.
Understand that relocation should be a collaborative effort. Include your parent in the planning process. Moving requires extensive planning, so be prepared to check in with them and keep everyone on the same page.
Here are some steps to help you transfer an aging parent from one state to another:
1. Hold a Family Gathering
Travis Christiansen, attorney at Boyack Christiansen Legal Solutions in St. George, Utah, advises:
“It’s a good idea to have discussions with not only the parents but all of their children (even those who may not be involved in care) about what will happen in terms of living arrangements and care, who will be responsible, and what may happen if it doesn’t work out.”
Organizing a family gathering helps everyone get the information they need. This may include scheduling a video chat with everyone involved or devoting time over the holidays to discuss relocation.
The family gathering should be scheduled months or weeks in advance to ensure that everyone is on the same page, that duties are assigned to family members, and that the best manner to relocate your parent is determined.
2. Make Financial and Legal Arrangements
If you’re caring for a parent, you may need to get more engaged in their personal finances, such as paying bills, monitoring accounts, and managing retirement funds or investments.
You should also consider drafting a formal legal contract, known as a personal care agreement, that describes any payment your parent makes to you for accommodations or caregiving services.
Similarly, ensure that legal documents such as durable power of attorney, representative payee, and advance directives are in place.
This is where Trustworthy can help.
Trustworthy is a unique Family Operating System® that enables you to upload, store, and manage all of the important family documents in your life. That makes it simple to keep track of a parent's finances and important documents, and you can set reminders to ensure your parent's bills are paid on time.
Ready to learn more? Explore Trustworthy’s range of features.
3. Find the Best Moving Method
There are a few things to consider while preparing for moving day.
First, assess the distance between the old and new locations and determine how much is being moved.
Moving an elderly parent to another state may be best handled by professional movers. Ensure you choose a company that can move from state to state and consider how weighty or delicate your parent's possessions are.
Lastly, hire a case manager. Case managers are professionals who coordinate the care and services of elderly adults on both ends of a move. A case manager can arrange for advanced medical support and professional movers to unpack your parent’s belongings, and they can refer you to social services agencies in the area.
Related: How to Travel with an Elderly Parent
4. Make a Plan for Your Parent's Healthcare Needs
Moving an aging parent from one state to another necessitates the search for new healthcare providers.
Finding physicians takes time, so prepare ahead of time rather than at the last minute. Check with your present doctor to see if they have any recommendations in your parent's new area. Continue your investigation by reading internet references and qualifications of new healthcare providers.
But it’s important to bear in mind your parent’s emotional well-being, too. Moving across the country can be quite stressful for a parent — particularly when you’re uprooting them from their existing support base.
Try getting in touch with local senior centers and recreational groups ahead of time to discuss how your parent could get involved upon arrival in their new home. This will make the transition easier and provide an emotional outlet.
5. Review the Moving Plan
Even after your moving plan has been created, it is critical to go through it as a group to ensure everyone knows what is going on and what their role is. Reviewing this information will ensure everyone knows the objectives, location, and logistics.
Again, this is where a platform like Trustworthy can make life a whole lot easier.
Trustworthy’s collaborative features enable you to share and distribute your parent’s moving plan with other family members to ensure everyone has secure access to the plan and is on the same page at all times. This can go a long way towards preventing confusion or any potential arguments.
6. Personalize Your Loved One's New Home
Moving offers fresh opportunities for decorating and reorganizing.
Displaying objects that remind your parent of their last home might bring comfort and help them feel at ease throughout the shift. Allow your parent to choose decorations that will bring them joy. Display family photos to remind them of their loved ones and other positive experiences.
Moving also allows for the reorganization of belongings and the removal of clutter.
Getting rid of unneeded goods during a move, particularly when downsizing, will make obtaining ordinary objects simpler for your elderly parent. Label drawers and cabinets to remind your parent where to find new products.
What to Expect if Your Parent Moves in With You
If you and your parent determine that the best location for your parent is in your house, be aware that living with a parent will almost certainly result in a change in family roles.
David Fritch, attorney at Fritch Law in Jasper, Indiana, explains:
“These types of transitions are difficult, but with patience, care, and the right tools, families can thrive together. The most important things are honoring the parent's needs, setting a routine, and cherishing the time you have together.”
These job transitions may be difficult for everyone, but these tips can help.
Changes in Lifestyle
You and your parent most likely have entirely different lives. Sleeping routines, eating habits and preferences, social calendars, hobbies, and daily activities may all need to be adjusted to ensure a seamless transition.
There is always going to be an adjustment period when people move in together,” says Travis Christiansen of Boyack Christiansen Legal Solutions.
He continues, “You may need to set up family meetings to have a time to talk about concerns that anyone has.”
Time Consumption
Caregiving can take a large amount of time and interfere with your employment, family life, personal life, and sleep.
You'll need to decide how much time you can dedicate to your parent's care.
This might involve making choices about whether you’ll need to change your work schedule and the ramifications for your financial situation, professional progression, health insurance, and Social Security and retirement benefits if you cut your work hours.
Your Residence
If your parent is going to live with you, your living space must be suitable. There must be ample space and an adaptive plan for an older adult with mobility or eyesight issues.
To make a house safe, certain modifications may be required. Many of these adjustments are low-cost, but they need time and strategy. Considerations worth bearing in mind include:
Position your parent on the ground level to avoid stairs.
Consider special locks, door chimes, and other devices that will assist in keeping doors and windows properly fastened if your parent wanders and is in danger of being lost.
Examine your house for risks such as hanging cables, poisons, slick surfaces, wobbly furniture, and throw rugs.
Install bright, non-glare lighting above all paths and low-cost adhesive strips on stairs.
Adjust the thermostat so that the home is not overly hot or chilly.
Frequently Asked Questions
What should you do when you can't take care of your parents?
Try working with relatives who live closer to your parents to set up a care plan. Alternatively, it’s worth starting a discussion about moving your parent out of state to live closer to you.
How do you tell an elderly parent they have to move?
Start the conversation early, bring in other members of your family, and remember to be compassionate. Your parent might be hesitant to move, and you need to listen and be considerate of their feelings.
How do you cope when your elderly parents move in with you?
Set up open lines of communication to ensure that everyone is aware of boundaries. It’s also important to take time for yourself and prioritize self-care.
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