After a loved one passes away, you may be asked to write a heartfelt obituary for a newspaper, website, or social media platform. Crafting an obituary that truly honors their life and legacy can feel overwhelming, especially when emotions are high. So, how do you begin?
For starters, talk about their accomplishments, favorite things, and memorable stories. You can use the obituary as an opportunity to honor your loved one’s life and show how important this person was to you. By following the steps outlined in this tutorial, you’ll be able to write a great obituary your loved one would be proud of.
Elements of an Obituary
An obituary doesn’t only share your loved one’s birth and death date, but it also typically includes a photo of the individual, along with a description of their achievements and personality.
In essence, the elements of an obituary include:
Death announcement.
Date, time, and location of the funeral, memorial service, wake, or celebration of life.
Biographical information or summary of life.
List of close friends and family.
Memorable moments and accomplishments.
Acknowledgments and donations.
A photo.
Writing the Obituary
Step 1: Announce the Death
When writing the obituary, you should start by including the following information about your loved one: full name, age, place of birth, date of death, and place of death.
You don’t need to include the cause of death in the obituary if you’re uncomfortable sharing this information. However, if you want to include the cause of death, ask the family for permission first.
Step 2: Provide Service Times
The next step is to list the details of where and when the funeral, memorial service, wake, or celebration of life will take place. Including the email or number for the funeral home may also be valuable for guests who want to check with them for further details.
It’s important to explain what type of service it is. This helps the guests understand what to expect in terms of wardrobe expectations and what they may need to bring.
Step 3: Include Biographical Info
When writing an obituary for your loved one, it is important to include details about their life. However, you may need to be cautious about where the obituary is published. This is because newspapers may charge you per word. Therefore, you may need to set yourself a word limit.
In terms of what to write, you should recount the most significant achievements and events in your loved one’s life. This may include their hobbies, passions, education, or contributions to the community. Every person is unique, and this should be clearly reflected in the obituary.
Step 4: List Family Members and Close Friends
It’s customary to include a list of family members, close friends who have survived the deceased, and immediate family members who predeceased your loved one.
Step 5: Include a Special Message or Pictures
Sometimes, people include a special message in the form of a short prayer, funeral poem, or favorite saying at the end of an obituary. Although it’s entirely up to you as the writer, it can be a great way to remember your loved one.
In addition, you should include a picture or pictures of your loved one if the publication accepts them. It’s typically a clear headshot that displays your loved one in the best way possible. This adds a personal touch and puts a face to the description.
You may also want to add acknowledgments and donations. For example, if your loved one received hospice care before they passed, you may want to thank the facility staff.
Finally, donation instructions are the last customary element to include in the obituary. For instance, if your loved one had a cause they were passionate about, you can explain that donations can be donated to help that cause.
Obituary Writing Tips
One of the most important obituary writing tips to know is that there is no right or wrong way to go about it. What’s most essential is the intention and remembering your loved one.
Nevertheless, keep the following tips in mind:
Accuracy: The obituary’s details and information must be factual and correct. Before you begin, gather all the information you think you may need and fact-check it with your loved one’s family members and friends.
Collaboration: Speak with people your loved one had close relationships with to gain insights from people who knew them the best. This allows their closest friends and family members to be part of the process. It also helps you learn new and interesting stories to include in the obituary.
Proofread: You should be prepared to edit the obituary for spelling and grammar a few times. Having a second pair of eyes to proofread the obituary is incredibly helpful.
Write with empathy: Try to use inclusive and simple language, and share personal stories you have about the deceased.
Emma Goss, a Bay Area freelance reporter who has written celebrity obituaries, suggests writing one like you would a letter: "Deliver it like you’re writing it to their husband or wife or best friend. Tell them something (positive) that they may not have known."
Obituary Example
John Whittaker, 70, of Clayton, Mo., entered God’s kingdom on July 1, 2024. Born on June 10, 1954, to Mary and Charles Whitaker, John was a loving and devoted husband, father, and grandfather.
He is survived by his wife, Julia; his sons, Mark and Henry; his daughter, Stephanie; his grandsons, Alexander and Joseph; and his faithful dog, Chewy.
After graduating from Clayton High School, John joined the Army, which took him to San Diego. Upon leaving the military, he met the love of his life, Julia, another native Missourian. Wanting to raise their family near their roots, they packed up their lives and made the long journey back to the St. Louis area. There, John worked tirelessly at two jobs for nearly 20 years, faithfully supporting his family.
John had a natural gift for making friends in any situation, and his infectious laugh could brighten any room. Known for telling stories – some factual, some not so factual – all of them carried a touch of inspiration.
A man of true integrity, John stood firm in his beliefs. With his simple style – usually slacks and a T-shirt – he devoted himself to giving his children the best life, rarely worrying about his own needs.
John was a selfless man whose impact will be forever felt by those who love him. His ability to sacrifice, support, forgive, and love leaves an unfillable gap in the hearts of his family.
A memorial service will be held at 10 a.m. Aug. 29 at Covenant Funeral Service, 1234 Kennedy Drive, St. Louis. Donations can be made in his memory to Operation Second Chance.
Generalized Obituary Templates
Let’s take a look at a few obituary examples. You can use these as inspirations for your writing, but remember, there’s no “right” way of writing an obituary. It just has to be meaningful to you.
Keep in mind that these examples are briefer than what you should include in yours. You should add in a lot more personal details based on the guidelines above.
Example 1:
[NAME], a fourth-grade elementary school teacher, passed away at the age of [X] on [DATE]. For 35 years, he served as a guide and leader for children in the community. The students at [SCHOOL] treasured [NAME]. As a graduate of [UNIVERSITY], [NAME] was a kind and composed instructor who affected the lives of many students during his career.
[NAME] leaves behind his wife of 55 years years, [SPOUSE], and his children [CHILD] and [CHILD]. The funeral service will be held at [LOCATION] at [TIME] and [DATE]. All are welcome to attend. To honor [NAME], [SCHOOL] is accepting donations to dedicate a section of the school library to [NAME] for his service.
Example 2:
[NAME], a longtime resident of the Chicago area, died [DATE], surrounded by her close family. She was born in Portland, Oregon, and was the only daughter of [PARENT] and [PARENT]. After receiving her bachelor's degree from [UNIVERSITY], she married her high school sweetheart, [SPOUSE]. She was a caring mother and active community member.
Her work included planning Chicago’s annual winter festival and holiday celebrations. [NAME] was also passionate about music, volunteering to help several local bands for over 15 years. She leaves behind her husband and her daughter, [CHILD]. Funeral services will be held at [LOCATION] on [DATE] at [TIME]. The [LAST NAME] family requests memorial gifts in [NAME]’s honor for the city’s local musicians program.
Example 3:
[NAME], age [X], of San Francisco, passed away on [DATE]. Born in Boise, Idaho, in [YEAR], [NAME] received a bachelor's degree in finance from [UNIVERSITY] in 1957. He directed the finance division at [COMPANY] for 30 years. In his spare time, he loved playing golf, visiting family, and traveling the world. He was proud to have visited over 50 countries in his long and fulfilling life.
Most of all, many will remember how his laugh could change the energy of an entire room. [NAME] is survived by his children, [CHILD] and [CHILD], and wife, [SPOUSE]. Funeral services will take place at [LOCATION] on [DATE] at [TIME]. In remembrance, the [LAST NAME] family is accepting donations to donate to the local youth center.
Planning With Trustworthy
It’s important to be prepared for life’s toughest moments. While writing an obituary is one part of the post-death process, there are dozens of other tasks to handle, from settling your loved one’s estate, to carrying out their last wishes, and much more.
Trustworthy is an advanced digital storage and collaboration platform you can use to store all of life’s important documents, including estate documents.
Every adult should have an estate plan ready, no matter their financial status or circumstance. If you die without a will (also known as dying intestate), the state will step in to make choices and decisions for you. This situation can add stress, time, and increased costs. It also could cause arguments within your family.
Fortunately, you can plan, organize, and securely share your documents with Trustworthy's digital storage platform. In Trustworthy, you can also include your burial or funeral wishes, so your family knows how to handle these post-death memorials.
Frequently Asked Questions
How long should an obituary be?
The average length of an obituary is generally 200 words. Some publications will accept obituaries up to 400 words long.
When should you post an obituary?
There is no set time, but a good time frame is to share the obituary within one week of the deceased’s passing.
What’s the difference between an obituary and death notice?
A death notice is a brief statement that announces the deceased’s passing, while an obituary is longer and is a tribute to the deceased.
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