Most of us don’t like to ponder what will happen when we die, which is why most Americans don’t even have a will. 

However, if you have kids, you can’t afford to leave their wellbeing to chance. You must consider who will care for them if something bad happens to you. More importantly, you need to document those wishes and share them to ensure everybody’s on the same page.

That being said, it can be tricky navigating the legal waters around appointing a guardian and setting up your finances to ensure the guardian can afford to look after your children.

That’s why we sat down for a Q&A session with Travis Christiansen, an attorney and owner of the Utah-based law firm Boyack Christiansen Legal Solutions. 

Christiansen has more than two decades’ worth of experience supporting clients with estate planning, divorce, and custody issues — including guiding families through the process of naming a guardian for their children.

Read on to get his pro tips on the qualities you should look for in a guardian, navigating tricky family dynamics when appointing a guardian, and the legal process you’ll need to complete to ensure your children are cared for after you’re gone.

Why is Naming a Guardian Essential?

Answer: Legally, if you don’t name a guardian for your children, the court will appoint one based on the state's law. This could be a close family relative, based on what the court sees is in their best interests (which may not be the family member you imagined), or they could go into foster care.

Emotionally, it usually helps your family, including your children, if you appoint a guardian before you die so that they don’t need to deal with another difficult decision when they are grieving your passing.

What Qualities Should You Look for in a Guardian?

Answer: You usually want to consider a variety of factors when picking a guardian. 

Is the person/couple able to afford to take care of your child(ren)? Can they handle them emotionally and physically? 

While we can never know how long someone will live, it might be better to pick someone your age or younger and not someone who may pass from old age soon. You may want to consider their religious, political, moral, and ethical beliefs. 

You should also know their criminal and abuse history, and you may want to also consider if they have any addictions to drugs or other substances that you wouldn’t want your children to be around.

One of the biggest mistakes when choosing a guardian is appointing someone you don’t talk to, and they refuse to do it when the time comes. It’s also a good idea to discuss your choice with other family members so that they know your wishes, and in the hopes that it may cut down on legal battles if they disagree.

How Should You Navigate Family Dynamics When Naming a Guardian?

Answer: Ultimately, the choice is yours. If you feel there will be a legal battle after you pass away, it helps to know that your family disagrees so that you can consult with an attorney and ensure you have the proper legal paperwork set up to overcome any disputes. 

It is a good idea to discuss the decision with those you would like to be a guardian — ensuring they agree — as well as those who might be hurt and/or disagree with your decision at a time and place that isn’t emotionally charged. 

If need be, it may be good to have a neutral third party act as a go-between for you so you don’t argue about it. Ultimately, as long as you are of sound mind, the decision is yours and that of your co-parent, so whether people agree or not is irrelevant. 

How Should You Handle Guardianship for Multiple Children?

Answer: While it is certainly ideal for siblings to stay together if you pass, that might not always be possible depending on the life circumstances of those who take them in.

It is a good idea to talk to an estate planning attorney who can help you set out a plan of care for your dependents if you pass away. Especially if you have children with special needs, you will need to set out a lifetime of care plans for anyone who takes on their guardianship. 

What Role Does Financial and Legal Planning Need to Play When Naming a Guardian?

Answer: It is important to set up financial arrangements for your children, including trusts, when planning guardianship possibilities. You want to ensure the guardian can care for them and that they have money for schooling and living when they are adults since you won’t be around to provide that.

It is a good idea to have guardians and financial trustees be different people to help provide a checks and balances system on any money you leave for your children and their care.

Raising children can be expensive, which helps ensure their needs are met as you would if you were still around. It can also help ensure a guardian doesn’t use the money for themselves, preventing your children from benefiting from it.

Should You Consider Temporary Guardianship, Permanent Guardianship, or Both?

Answer: A short-term guardian could be much more generic, as it may just be someone you need to step in while you’re on vacation. This won’t require the same care or even ideological agreements you might want for someone who cares for your children if you are no longer alive.

Creating a temporary care plan for your children in case of an emergency is a good idea. It’s a good idea to create a binder with important information like the children’s schedules, medical providers, information like sports or allergies, etc. It must be kept updated. 

Some people have a binder they keep for caregivers like babysitters, and you could add a section for those who might have to step in for a longer term, but temporary, time. 

When Should You Update Your Guardianship Plan?

Answer: Guardianship arrangements are usually included in your last will and testament documents. At a minimum, guardianship arrangements should be reviewed every 3-5 years. If anything changes, like birth, death, or more children, you should review it and update it as needed.

The life events that might make changes necessary to your guardianship plans include birth, death, divorce, moving, a change in finances, aging, illness, or family circumstances.

Also, some people develop addictions or mental health issues and wouldn’t be the care provider you want for your children. Or, sometimes, you find things out about someone you didn’t know when you chose them as a possible guardian. 

It’s ok to make changes if this happens, as your most important focus should be on the health and safety of your children. 

What are the Steps for Legally Naming a Guardian in Your Will?

Answer: Naming a guardian will depend on the laws of each state. A guardian doesn’t usually need to agree to be named as one in your will, but that means they can decline, which can lead to other issues. 

Some of the biggest mistakes parents make include not discussing their decision with the person they name, not using an attorney, or not reviewing and updating their paperwork. 

But the biggest mistake they make is not finalizing legal documents about how they want as a guardian because they don’t think they will die. 

Should You Do Any Contingency Planning Around Who Will Be Your Children’s Guardian?

Answer: Hopefully, you’ve chosen more than one guardian, so if your first choice can’t serve, the other can step in. If you haven’t, the courts will decide who the guardian will be. 

It’s important to name alternate guardians because when the time comes, the person you named may not be able to serve as a guardian, and you won’t want the courts to decide for you. 

What Emotional Considerations Do Parents Need to Bear In Mind When Naming a Guardian?

Answer: While it’s a difficult decision to pick someone to be a guardian for your children, it’s worse to think they won’t have anyone they know caring for them if you don’t pick someone. 

Parents can help alleviate their guilt and worry about this decision by being proud that they’ve made a plan for their children to be cared for even if they aren’t around. 

Sometimes, guilt arises in your choice of guardian because people are unhappy with your decision, but the most important person to consider is your children and their future. 

If you don’t put your children’s welfare over any other consideration when picking a guardian, you may find the choice will not help them have the most successful life possible. That should be your focus in this decision. That they are safe, healthy, loved, cared for, and encouraged to become the best person they can be as well as a benefit to society.

Using Trustworthy to Organize and Communicate Your Wishes

When it comes to appointing a guardian for your children, it’s important to document your wishes early and communicate them with all relevant parties to ensure that everybody’s on the same page.

That’s where Trustworthy’s Family Operating System® can make your life much easier.

Trustworthy is a secure digital vault that enables families to digitize, organize, and share important family documents — whether it’s your advance directive, your will, children’s medical records, trust documents, family passwords, or anything in between. 

That means there’s a single source of truth documenting who you want to be your children’s guardian, the resources that’ll be at their disposal, and all of the practical daily information your children’s guardian will need to take care of them.

Uploading those documents is a fast and simple process, thanks to Trustworthy’s AI-powered Autopilot tool. Autopilot can offer suggestions on what to name each file, tell you which folder it should go in, and even generate document summaries so that you (or your collaborators) will know exactly what’s in each document without wasting ages reading it.

Collaboration is a huge aspect of Trustworthy. As a Trustworthy user, you can grant granular document permissions to trusted family members, family friends, your attorney, accountant, or named guardian. 

You can control who has access to individual files or sections of your vault and when they can access those areas. You’ll even get notifications when your collaborators access a document, and you can revoke that access whenever you want to.

That means it’s possible to ensure everyone understands the plan in case something happens to you. More importantly, it means your children will be given the best possible care in your absence.

So, are you ready to experience Trustworthy for yourself? Take a look at Trustworthy’s range of features to discover how you can start planning today to guarantee your children’s future.